To say "Yes"

We all know there are many reasons why one can get stressed out. One of the important ones in those reasons is our inability to say “No” to things. One gets loaded and then overloaded with work by two important people – one’s boss and one’s spouse - at least till job retirement, if he or she survives till then. . So it’s taught to us and to some large extent we practice that art of saying “No” to unreasonable demands.

Conversely what about totally losing the ability of saying “No”? I suppose the situation will force one to say so with no much practice. Let me throw some light on this.

This happened several years ago. It was not a big surprise when one my distant uncles decided to go for a pilgrimage with his wife. Both were in mid-seventies, their children were well settled abroad with their own families. So it is natural that the old couple decided to go for such a tour. But they had a problem, they needed somebody to accompany them to take care of them, if at all any emergency arose. 

“Venkatesh will be a good choice” uncle told aunt. He had to be, he was one of his nephews. Obedient fellow, had good manners, no bad habits, only problem he had was with studies. College drop-out, still a teenager, but not knowing what to do. He was ready to help anybody, if fed well. So he whole-heartedly agreed to travel with the senior citizens, a golden opportunity for him to see places and more importantly relish different types of food. One fine day, they set off early in the morning. 

“Do you want to buy coffee? “aunt asked uncle, sincere question. “No, No we don’t know what milk and water they use, it may upset our stomach. Let’s have Jeera water instead that we brought”. Obedient Venkatesh did have no choice but to say No to coffee exactly like what his uncle did. He had to settle down for that phenol-coloured liquid while listening to the chanting of pious verses by the old couple. During breakfast and lunch, same story - no outside food. Only thing he could do was join his uncle to say “No”. It was dry, thick rotis, carefully prepared and packed by aunt. Poor Venkatesh could chew a small piece of it and managed to swallow it till it reached just below his Adam’s apple. With a few drops of Jeera water all he could was push it a few milli-meters further down. Then came the dinner time. Nice biriyani was up for grab and with all his courage Venkatesh said “Yes, I want to eat this” before either of them could open their mouth. Starving for the whole day taught him he had to say “Yes” in desperate situations. Needless to say, he single-handedly finished the whole pack with no time, fully energised to take care of any emergency for at least another day! With no guarantee whether the old man would offer to buy anything to during the rest of the trip !!

“Can I get a motorbike now, I would like to have that sports model with 300 cc engine?”, the son had been asking his dad the day he stepped into college. He used to ask this question every now and then the poor dad could only tell “No, you are still young, you need to have a well-levelled head on your shoulders before you can ride your own bike”. The son never gave up, he repeated the same question whenever he got an opportunity, and the big ”No” from dad repeated.

One fine day the dad said “Yes, I will buy one for you, let’s go today itself and choose one”. The son was surprised, he did not know what made his dad suddenly say Yes. Little did the son know that his dad tried to cross the road that morning. Little did the son know that his dad was almost knocked down by an over-speeding high-end heavy motorbike. Little did the son know that his dad clearly noticed who the rider of the bike was – his own son, taking pillion his friend who was the owner of the bike. Little did the son know that his dad would trust more the bike maintained by self than any other joker – just to keep his son’s head safer if not much levelled above his shoulders!

And then this young couple, they were so fed up of saying continuously “No” to others. They were happily married alright. They were away from their parents, having their own family in a distant town, alright. That was not their problem. They were married for almost six years and the only question their parents and relatives had was “No child yet, who has the problem!” They were fed up saying “No, not yet”. So one fine day they decided, they had to say Yes, to solve all their problems. They did!. They started saying Yes to those who asked. But their problem of saying “No” never ended, in fact it just started. “No baby, don’t cry”- what can the baby do, it can only cry when it feels like, more so in the nights!. It is just a beginning.  And the number of opportunities to say “No” will only amplify as time progresses. “No, don’t pull that stuff from table. No, don’t step out of the house. No, no ice cream today, you have a cold. No, No internet for you. No FaceBook account for you, you are too young” – It would just go on!

So yes, there are instances when one loses the ability or patience to say “No”. Of course one needs to have tremendous courage to face any bad consequences there-off by saying “Yes” ! For many days, I have been telling myself “no, not today” when the thought of blogging something came to my mind. I got tired of saying “No” to myself, so today I said Yes! Hopefully the consequences won’t be that adverse!