Observing Curiosity

Keen observation and curiosity, they go hand in hand. The more you observe, the more you get curious. 

After the unusual initial childhood silly observations, my focus shifted to my usual face, looking at the mirror and observing carefully. More frequently for longer duration. I was curious to know how my facial hair was growing. After becoming slightly older, that observation and curiosity had not died. The focus shifted to check how many had turned grey. Even today that curiosity persists. Just to check how many few more are left to turn grey. And sadly now, the number of items that makes me curious has come down drastically.

There is a story of tremendous curiosity backed up by his keen observation by none other than Uncle Paul, who had lived in my neighborhood many years back.  I prefer to illustrate certain points by telling stories, this is one such instance. Because stories are far more potent than ideas, they are easier to remember, they are more fun to read. Ideas come and go, stories stay!

Uncle Paul had also had a habit of looking his face in mirror, every morning, without fail. This he used to do, not inside his house but outside open portico of his house. He would begin as early as I started my morning walk.  He would not have finished his job even after I returned after a good 30 minutes of so called brisk walk, my speed of walking solely depending on the interesting things on the way. One may wonder why he should take such a long time to remove his beard, he was not a super human whose beard grew on an hourly basis. In fact, let me confirm to you, he had very little facial hair, much less than what one could think of. So what he used to observe was not his face in the mirror, but those ladies of many age groups who also had the bad habit of brisk-walking in the mornings. He was curious to see how they had dressed up and brisk-walk!

There is a reason for me to write about this run of the mill topic. I was standing in front my house the other day, my two pet dogs playing around in the front. Four kids appeared at the gate and started conversing with the dogs. The oldest one appeared to me around 10 years old and later I came to know that the other three were his younger brothers, could be just one year difference between them. “No school today?”, I asked them. “Yes uncle, it is in Chintamani. We had come to Bangalore because our grandfather died here”.  Yes, they were from Chintamani village, rural area. For them missing school for couple of days was not a big deal, coming to the city was big fun, though the cause for it was not all that happy one.

I was asking a few questions to the elder one, he was answering all right. But his observation was more on the dogs. Obviously, people from rural area, that too young kids, they haven’t seen many good things in life like the urban ones. They would not have seen a school uniform, pizza or burger, traffic-signals-jams, garbage heap right in the middle of the road – nothing of that sort, they have to be curious. He suddenly asked me the question “No puppies yet?”. He had quickly observed that one is female and the other is a male dog. Otherwise he would have asked the question whether these two fight each other! I said no, no puppies so far. His curiosity did not end there. Next question from him “how old are they?”. I told him that one is 6 years old and the other one is 6 months younger to it. He just remarked, “Oh, so big, in one year they should have had puppies and every year after that”, looking at me he would have thought that I am an ardent lover of dogs and have many more puppies inside my house. He wouldn’t mind taking one to his village.

I didn’t respond to his remark. If I had told him what the Vet did to one of the dogs, so that they don’t get puppies in their life time, then his curiosity would have just multiplied. Which would make me face much tougher questions from him. If not to me, he would go back and would have definitely questioned his parents as why they hadn’t undergone something of that sort like the Vet did to my dogs. So that he wouldn't have to fight with his younger brothers who came to this world after him, one after other, every year!

I liked him. I liked his innocence, knowledge, observation and above all his curiosity. 

I just could not help giving him a broad smile when he pulled his brothers along with him saying “Seri uncle, naanu hoggi barthinee “( Ok uncle, I will go and come back in Kannada). I wished him the very best. I also wished I were still a village boy like him. 

due importance

This morning I made tea. Myself. I still haven’t acquired the skill of straining and pouring it perfectly into the cup. It invariably spills on the kitchen slab. And I don’t care it much.

So, today also it spilled, rather badly. When I lifted the cup to have that first sweet sip, I saw the spills. With tea cup on my left hand, I picked up the mopping cloth in my right hand and in one stroke I cleaned the slab. Little did I realise that my left hand also moved to balance the right one and it spilled more on the kitchen floor. Rest is history.

That’s the dilemma I always face when I try to focus on multiple factors at the same time. I could have kept the cup on the slab securely and then wiped the slab first. But my urge to drink the hand-made tea was so high, I didn’t have patience. I could have drunk the tea first and then hunted around to clean the mess. But, by chance my wife appeared in the kitchen and seen the dirty patches on the slab while I was drinking tea, then the tea would not have tasted good anymore!

In one country they wanted to reduce human population. They brought in one-child policy for every couple. Followed ruthlessly for years. Nobody was pardoned, though it was not by their design but by simple mistake or just an accident to have the second child. Now the country is staring at its very old population which is of no much use. While they could lift the one child policy, in the interim they may have to think of eliminating a huge number of 80+ aged people. By hook or crook !!!

So, though it is a challenge, the best option is to focus on multiple factors when trying to do something seriously. Give due weightage and importance to each factor. It is difficult, but not impossible.

What happens when one goes for a body building act? Good diet, good work out and work, and good sleep.  Eat balanced diet at the same time hit the Gym and hit or pull as many equipment there for a good amount of time. Then the body will expand in all directions proportionately. If you focus only on diet and not much on the physical activity part, then you may turn out pot-bellied.

No doubt, development is good. Whether it is for mind, knowledge, body or even for a nation. But every parameter is thought about while a development strategy is worked out, especially for a nation or a state. The pace, the inclusivity, overall impact - all are looked into. Otherwise one will find a few pot-bellied people around with lots of their fellow countrymen starving, of course with their tummies but with conclave ones.

Ineffective deterrents

Couple of days back, I saw the lady coming out from her house. To hand over the garbage bag to the corporation worker, who had started collecting it from door to door. Her right thumb and forefinger were busy, tightly holding her own nose. Her left thumb and forefinger were barely used to keep the bag intact in her hand 3 feet away from her body. And she threw the bag into the worker’s hands by standing almost 10 feet away from him.

Of course, the worker was dirty. His vehicle was full of filth collected from other houses. Obviously, that whole mess was not his problem. I am not saying that clean lady should go very close to him and his vehicle and get a feel for it. I am not saying she should attempt to throw a pair of clean clothes to him, which he can use next day – though it is possible for her. All I am saying is try not to over-react to the situation. No way, her such behaviour will become a deterrent to shabby looks of the worker. And to expect that he will arrive from tomorrow onwards in three piece suit, Nike shoes, wearing Titan watch in an air-conditioned Volvo carrier vehicle. He is least bothered about his appearance or the filth he carries, which is not at all his creation. He is only worried about his daily wages, which are peanuts for you and me. At least give respect to him and his profession.

Today, I saw a large group of garbage clearing workers sitting on the road side. I thought, they were on strike, assembled to protest against something. When I reached closer, I found all of them well dressed, neat and tidy. Then I saw all their vehicles parked in line, after giving a good wash. Sandal paste applied on the body, decorated with flower garlands. I realised that they assembled near the Hanuman temple by the side, doing pooja for their vehicles. They would have postponed the ritual by couple of days from the usual day of the year, so that their not-so-neat appearance would not become deterrent to the well-groomed normal citizens. I salute the person who took this initiative to have this pooja done, provide the workers with new clothes, sweets and other goodies. Who knows, the sandalwood  smell, the fragrance emanating from the temple, that nice ambience would remind them of the good environment they could have. Who knows, that might make them demand more sophisticated means and mechanisms to make their job much tidier?

I am an active user of whatsApp. I am yet to find an effective deterrent to the over-usage of it! Yesterday in whatsApp one of my friends forwarded me an article which starts with the statement “Are you a smoker then read on?”. I am pretty sure a non-smoker will enjoy reading it more than a smoker will. It talks about all ill effects and health hazards of smoking. And, how it kills people. As if no smoker is aware of these dangers. I am not sure how effective this will work as a deterrent. Instead the article should list out things that one can do to help him/her quit smoking. When there is an urge for smoking – go for a stroll in a nearby park with full of trees which always emit quality oxygen – or go into an air-conditioned super market and scout around for poison-free fruits or vegetables – or if one wants to be indoor, then try to be a bit more romantic to your partner – or seek medical help to quit smoking. I am not saying here that one should smoke, no. I am also not saying one should get killed, no, that is not in my hands. And definitely not by my hands.

Do I feel like killing somebody in the neighborhood by my own hands? Yes, at times. Could be because of the way they behave. Could be they are too selfish and they don’t care about others. Could be that I simply don’t like their faces! But I don’t kill them. Not because I don’t know the easy ways to kill somebody, I do spend quality time in reading newspaper and watching TV. Not because I don’t have the courage to kill somebody, the actions of some of these morons are such that, it can bring my rage to such extreme levels which can make me sufficiently brave. It is just because that’s the way I am brought up, that is the value system I believe in. Killing somebody is not a solution to the problem. That is why I haven’t killed somebody so far. Not because I am worried that if I commit that crime, the legal system will punish me by hanging until death which is supposed to be deterrent to my crime. That is least of my worries, when I touch that boiling point.

So don’t smoke, don’t generate more waste, don’t kill anybody – if you can’t resist doing these, at least support the cause to create an environment that would reduce these ills in the society. While doing so don’t assume deterrents alone will help that cause.

                                                                                                                                       

Swalpa Adjust Maadi !

“Swalpa Adjust Maadi”, very common phrase one would quite often hear in Bangalore city. It just means “please adjust swalpa ( a little )”. How much swalpa that adjustment would be, it’s anybody’s guess.

Most common and serious adjustments one has to make is when he/she enters into married life. To adjust with the partner.  Drinking coffee will give way for tea, one may have to go to sleep earlier before the other one starts snoring so that the start of sleep is not affected for both partners. This list of swalpa adjustments to be made may not be that swalpa.

I also got married once, many years back. The priest was chanting hundreds of Sanskrit slokas during the wedding ceremony. Looking back after those many years, I am pretty sure one of those slokas was a message to me and my wife that in future we might have to do some adjustments to live happily. Though none of us or the crowd around or the priest himself, knew which particular solka that was.  Had me and my wife knew the message that day itself, by now she would have made a few more adjustments, I too would have made many more !

In Coimbatore city, a newly-wed lady took her life herself. She could not think of living a life without the non-stop use of whatsApp. Husband, a lorry driver by profession, probably knew only one use of his mobile, to make voice calls. He could not understand his wife’s attitude, looking and smiling more often at her mobile handset than looking at him. He could not adjust a bit. He took her phone away and went out. She went in and took her own life.

One should know what extent one can adjust. Like many girls my daughter also started learning dance, Bharatnatyam.  Like many others, she also stopped learning one fine day. Every other month there will be some performance or other organized by the dance school in one of the temple premises. What it meant for me was a lot of adjustments - take half day leave, help the mother in getting the daughter ready and more importantly drive them down to the venue. And of course, sit and watch those performances patiently with occasional applauds.

That evening the venue was a near-by Siva temple. As one would find, the approach to many of these temples start with very broad road and as and when one reaches near the temple the road narrows and narrows further. Finally there will be a still narrower outer entrance to the temple and the narrowest door opening where the deity really abodes. I stopped and parked the car when the first broad road ended and narrowness started opening up. I told my daughter and wife I could not adjust any more. They better walk the rest of 200 metres on foot, adjusting to the curious stare of bystanders who were a bit less appreciative of any form of art, compared to the people who sat inside the venue.

My friend Kumar also had a dancing daughter. He was also as adjustable as I. His daughter was also part of the dance program for that evening. He also took half day leave. He also cooked the lunch at home that day. He also did many more unfamiliar things. And they set out in his car. One difference was his car was new and he was new to driving. Another difference was he succumbed to his wife’s pressure to take a chance to drop them at the entrance of the venue. I was standing there when they arrived there ceremoniously. He got into a spot, dead-end in front of him. Only option for him was to take the car reverse for a good 50 metres or so in that narrow lane. It was unimaginable for a person like him who barely knew how to take the car in the forward direction. He jumped out of car with full rage and shouted at his wife throwing the car keys at her “You only asked to bring the car till this point, now you take it back”. Poor wife, she had to do a lot of adjustments to sit properly even in the passenger seat, sitting in the driver’s seat was beyond question. Finally, a lot of adjustments had to be made by the street vendors, moving many things by lifting and keeping aside, including Kumar’s new car !

If you are subjected to too many adjustments, you may react arrogantly, irrationally, illogically. That day I was traveling alone to Bangalore from Calcutta. The flight got delayed by many hours. I finished glancing through all the newspapers available. I finished pretending to going through the documents in my laptop computer, which I had done several times before.  Since there was no internet, wifi, 2G, whatsApp, FB etc, I had to remain local, no way I could go global by which I could have killed my time easily.  I had to shift intermittently from left to right and vice versa while sitting in that uncomfortable chair at the waiting lounge to minimize the mounting pain in my ass. There was no clue as when the flight will depart. Finally the call came for check-in. I didn’t see any smile on her face when the lady at the counter asked me “Window or aisle?”. With the same rude face I replied “both”. I could see the displeasure on her face, at least I got an opportunity to vent out my anger for the series of adjustments I had to make. Didn’t I deserve that much adjustment from them? What seat I got was immaterial, I was momentarily happy that I took some revenge on them, fully knowing what would be in store for me ahead till I reach Bangalore!

So when we hear or we say, ‘”Swalpa Adjust Maadi”, that swalpa is very important. If swalpa, turns out to be jaasti ( more )  then there is a problem, then it is no more an adjustment, It is a sacrifice by one party. And rarely someone will like to sacrifice, with no merit.

Are you a sinner ?

“Are you a sinner ?”. Nobody might ask me this question, but one never knows. Somebody might. I would never know the answer to that question.

A person might be practicing something from his childhood. His father does it. All his ancestors used to do it. Eating beef.  For him it is like others eating banana, rice, fish et al. For him, it is never a sin to eat beef. But somebody next door does not perceive it that way. For him eating beef is a sin. For him, eliminating somebody who consumes beef is not a sin. So he lynches the beef-eater. But there is something called law of the land. By that law, killing somebody is a sin, it is a murder. So the eliminator is brought under the judiciary, tried and punished to death by hanging. Human rights people take it up from there. For them hanging anybody, taking life out of anybody is a sin. So committing sin is never ending, it is a continuous process, it endures by different perceptions by different people.

Certain people believe that if they do not commit a sin in this life, in next life they will not become a donkey or any other low-IQ  animal. Good belief. With all that even if they go through hard times in this life, they will console themselves by believing that it is all because of the sins they had committed in their previous life(s).  Still a better belief. At least the crime rate in this world will come down if more people start believing in that.

My colleague Gangadar was like that. In fact he was one step ahead. He did not want to commit any sin even unknowingly. His only sin was writing faulty software programs which could not have been understood or fixed by others/ even by himself. He committed that sin neither knowingly nor unknowingly, he was just going through the motions! We were in Singapore working together at a customer site. One day, after a day’s full of sins on the computer terminal, he joined us for dinner. We headed to McDonalds, the place we all liked most. Gangadar ordered a veg burger and ate happily. After reaching home, he got a doubt. Was he served a non-veg burger? Did he end up in eating non-veg stuff? For a strict vegetarian like him, it was unimaginable. For him it was a sin. None of us knew an easy way to find out the truth, either in an invasive or non-invasive way.  Gangadar did not sleep that night. He did not sleep the next night too. In between he did not see the computer terminal to commit any more of his usual sins. He took the first flight on the third day back to India and went straight to Tirumala temple, begged pardon for his sin.

When a sinner goes to fast, God makes the day longer – they say. I am sure all of you would have eaten jack fruit at some point of time in your life. It is a crime. You are depriving jack fruit tree of its reproduction by throwing the seeds carelessly in places where they cannot grow into another plant/tree, to keep its traditions intact. But there are chances that one of those seeds find the right place and grow. That’s why you would get a minor uneasiness in the stomach for a short duration. But, there are people who would cook and eat even those seeds. That is a serious sin, totally eliminating the possibility of growing another tree. For such cruel seed-eaters, the punishment will be severe, they would get major stomach pain which can last for days.

So, it looks like even simple, humble eating revolves around a lot of sins. With all these sinful thoughts in my mind, the other day I had gone to a nearby restaurant. I found something interesting there –“Sinful Punjabi  Paneer combo”. If you haven’t tried that yet, I strongly suggest you do. If you had committed many sins, you will instantly be forgiven for all those sins the moment you eat that stuff. If you are a puritan and have not committed any sin so far, you will know what committing a heinous sin really means – by ordering that combo ! In either case you will be fully convinced!!

Trust me

When someone is about to go to sleep, if he hears a news -whether it is good or bad - chances are high that he will have to try to go to sleep again after a good amount of time. 

That was what happened to me a few days back, in fact I was lucky, I had both good and bad news! While I almost fell into sleep, I got a call from my son who had gone out in car. Good news was that there was no accident on the way. Bad news was that car engine just ran but the gear was not getting engaged. Car was not moving an inch forward/reverse.

I immediately rushed to the spot on my two wheeler, a good 2 KMs away from home. I also tried a few stunts at random – switched the engine on an off, pushed the car for a few yards and switched on again, switched gears 1-2-3-4-5 and back and reverse, tapped on the steering wheel for a few times! No luck.  And I knew that the only thing we could do was push the car as much as we could do till we found a good place to park for the night and go home, trying to get some sleep then on. We did exactly that so that the vehicle could be towed to service centre next day morning. I had to trust that in that night no nocturnal animals/human beings would tamper with the vehicle parked in that no-man’s land.  And I trusted right, next morning no further damages to the vehicle.

As the car was pulled and dragged on the road by the towing van, I had to trust that it would reach the destination with no more incidents. I had to trust that the van driver would steer his own vehicle in such a way that in the process my own vehicle gets along with ample clearance in those busy roads. I trusted right again, the car and I were brought into the hands of the service engineer unharmed, though I did expect a huge dent to my pocket soon.

“Clutch loading plate gone, it needs to be replaced”, declared the engineer. From the tone of his voice and expression on his face I could make out that it was going to be an expensive affair.  “Is there any way you can refurbish and use the same part instead of replacing it with a new one?” , I asked not trusting my own confidence that he would agree to my suggestion. He had a grin on his face showing all his teeth which actually outnumbered the remaining few numbers of good teeth on the gear of my car! And he said, “No it is not possible”. I had to trust him, he knew much more than me.

Laborious replacement ceremony happened in 48 hours’ time. I went to the service station to collect the vehicle, not forgetting to carry along with me all my debit/credit cards and a few currency notes I had in cash. The engineer handed over me the damaged part, explaining what was the damage. I could not make out what the damage was which made it not to be repaired, but I had to trust him. And I had to clear a heavy bill to take the vehicle delivery. All the while driving back, I had to convince myself that the damaged part lying in the boot, which I would soon sell to a scrap dealer for peanuts, would not be refurbished and brought back to the service station for replacement for another car, if not for my own car during the next service. I had to trust that it would not happen.

Apples and other fruits are contaminated with pesticides, so I don’t buy them. I get used to driving on roads with potholes, the politicians will never get the roads tarred well. I hesitate to go to a doctor, as he would ask me to go through all unnecessary tests to test my patience. I rarely travel by train, as those trains were manufactured when I was a small child, unlike me, with no much preventive maintenance after its birth. Farmers commit suicide, nobody can trust when the monsoon rains will come and in what quantum. So happenings around make me not to trust many things.

In such not-so-good a situation, the service providers will attempt their best to show credibility and build the confidence in customers. While they keep doing that, as a customer all you can do is try to trust something which you are not sure of trusting, no reason for you to mistrust it either when it's your turn! Just to keep things moving and to make you decide on things and to move on, to be happy and not to sound like a grumpy old person. This approach is worthwhile, trust me.

Ending Conversations

I also got chance to join a whatsApp group recently. Old friends’ network, nice talking to them after a long time. That evening I wished people here and there. Time was reaching midnight. Then two other friends joined the group chat. I was the only one left along with them in the chat session.

“Hi how are you? – first-one.

“I am fine,  living with my wife in Delhi, how many kids you have?”- second-one.

“Two, a son and a daughter” – first-one.

“Ok goodnight”- second-one.

“Good night” – first-one.

The conversation ended abruptly even before I could get into a conversation and know more about them. Probably the second-one got reminded that he has only one kid. He was not still that late. And he was not in a mood to talk anymore!

I came to know from one of my relatives that my talkative aunt is not keeping all that well. Mild asthma. Not able to breathe properly. I decided to call her and cheer her up. I spoke to her. But only I spoke! I deliberately avoided asking her about her health. I didn’t want to remind her of her problem and make her feel worse. I spoke all good things happening around the world. Not much response from her. I thought her asthma was making her talk less. I hung up after a while.  My relative calls me “what did you do to the aunt? She is angry, she says you are so healthy, wealthy and happy and didn’t even bother to enquire about her health. So she didn’t even bother to talk to you”. I was so sad that I could not ease out my aunt’s breathing a bit by making her talk. Though I felt happy that there is at least one unhappy person in this world who thinks I am super happy.

Those were the days when I used to clean up, fix problems in computer programs, that too written by others that too many years back. Thanks to ENGLISH language structure, the COBOL programs used to run into pages. Only way to understand and debug those programs was to take a print out. COBOL was such that, even a small customer enquiry program would look bigger than any one chapter in Bhagavad Gita! 

As usual in the morning, I took the bundle of printout from the only printer kept in the farther corner and walking towards my workplace. We had only a few customers,  even fewer dollars getting from them, so cost reduction was a necessity. Taking huge printouts was not considered as a waste though. If we stopped that too then we feared we would lose the existing few customers.

I found it extremely difficult to get through the door on the corridor. Many reasons for that. Reason one I had a reasonably growing belly, initial days in my colourful career. Reason two, the door which was broad once, cut into half,  one half got converted into a storage space to keep office stationery – of course under a lock & key to avoid unauthorised misuse. Reason three, the huge printout that I was trying to hold in my hands.

Then I saw my HR lady coming from the other direction. Young, giggly, very pleasant. My normal smile to her used to fetch me ample dividends in terms of nice, series of sentences from her, which would give me enough energy to go through those boring programs.  Looking at the bundle in my hands, I wanted to hear much more of such words from her. So I decided to comment on something rather than giving her a usual smile. “This door needs to be broader”. I could see her face turning red. She went across even without a smile. In that enthusiasm, I had forgotten that she was a bit obese for her age! Needless to say the printout remained on my desk for the whole day with no much progress made!

It looks like it’s rather easy to break a conversation than to build one. I wish while talking, I always had that art to adjust myself and my words, to suit the other party’s state, mood and interests.

                                                        

make others happy

Always try to make others happy. We are taught enough lessons by our teachers to drive this point home. And often we try. Any organization we work for, customer delight is of prime importance whether we like it or not. And we are encouraged (pardon me for the sugar coated HR jargon here, it simply means you better do it!) to achieve the same.

One of the ways I make others happy is by doing something to meet or exceed their expectations without being told to me. That is why I try to take bath every day before my most important customer,- my wife-  asks the routine question “did you take bath today?”. To answer yes, to make myself happy, to make my wife happier! I can’t tell a lie there, she has enough ways to find out whether I have really taken bath. Then I wonder why that question in the first place! Yes, I only just wonder to myself and don’t delve into it at all, for my own happiness. Taking a bath is much easier!!

Always try to make others happy, a good practice but the always part is a bit tricky. A few incidents make me think otherwise.

I always go early in the morning to fill petrol in my car. Many reasons for that. Less crowd, less waiting time. My mind is fresh and I am alert to see that I am not cheated. Like many others I am also a big believer of science, that science tells me that during cold mornings the petrol will be denser. That means I would get a few milliliters more petrol for the same amount of money.

Yesterday morning I was returning from the petrol pump successfully. As I was getting into the road I saw the three wheeler auto approaching from far. He was in full throttle, I sensed he must be happy. He would have got a customer in the rear. Otherwise the auto driver would have crawled at 10 KMPH looking out for prospective preys. A normal driver would have taken his car in the middle, made the auto guy slow down and probably made him shout a few un-parliamentary words. I, being a person not to miss an opportunity ever in making others happy, waited patiently for him to pass through, to make him even happier. And then I just followed him.

It took a while for me to switch gears. As I was about to race, I had the worst nightmare in that early morning. One auto parked in the side suddenly came in to the middle of the road. My heart stopped for a second. All my thrills of getting additional few drops of petrol evaporated .With quick reflexes I went into the opposite lane. Luckily the driver of the car coming from the opposite direction had even better reflexes, he also went into the extreme left and avoided me. All happened in a fraction of a second. I looked at the rear view mirror when things became normal. I could see the same auto driver whom I gave way earlier, whom I tried to make happier, was crawling looking out for the next passenger. He didn’t seem to be aware that he almost killed me, probably one more from the opposite direction.

A few weeks back, again early in the morning – I think it is high time I stopped this early morning business, it doesn't seem to be working out too well for me ! – I was walking on the road. A few good looking young ladies talking, happily smiling were coming across me. They abruptly stopped smiling the moment I looked at them, they became serious. Then I realised, probably my face would have been too serious. Probably because of the Chinese food from Chung’s place  I had in the previous night would have stiffened my face a bit more than usual along with other parts of my body in the rear. I decided to loosen up a bit. They say when you try to smile with even for no reason, you may tend to feel happier in life. I agree, only when you are not faced with any pressing problems though! So I tried to smile a bit. Why should I curtail somebody else’s happiness by showing my rude face?  

My smiling continued. The next person walking across me was happy too, he had a cheerful, gay disposition. He wore a peculiar dress, an ear ring on the wrong ear! He was walking slowly, swaying a bit. His happiness grew further seeing my smile and I could make out he wanted to become closer to me. I respected his feeling but I didn’t want to be part or partner of his scheme of things. I am straight and like to walk straight. So I walked straight ignoring him, bringing back my face to the original state. No more trying too hard to make others happier this way!

These are odd exceptions and these exceptions will no way hamper my enthusiasm to make others happy as and when possible. Don’t I need to do that to survive? to keep myself happy?

Good af mik nu

My little nine year old niece uses her dad’s mobile phone and greets me using a whatsApp message “good evening”. That too appended with a few smileys. That gesture really boosts my energy levels, after a tiring day. 

I came across the concept of greeting someone when I reached the fifth standard. Till then in the primary school, teachers didn’t know how to greet or get greeted. Or they simply didn’t care. Our focus was more on things like ten parrots happily singing on a tree branch – quite understandable -too early to learn other complicated, tough things in life. The teacher says that one parrot while singing faints and falls down and asks how many are now left on the tree. We rack our right brain to analyse what would happen to the collapsed singer, whether it would re-join the chorus soon after recovery. At the same time we rack our left brain to analyse how many are still left on the tree unperturbed by the sad fate of their co-singer, still singing happily. How to greet somebody was never there in the agenda.

Things changed. New high school. English was going to be introduced to me for the first time. That anxiety itself kept me away from school for the first three days of the academic year. That resulted in me missing coaching on how to greet in an English way when English teacher entered the class. As the teacher entered, all my yet-to-become friends stood up and shouted something. I also stood up but obviously no words came out of my mouth, as I didn’t know. But I carefully listened to that roar and gathered something “Good af mik nu”. I was thrilled, I learnt something new. Came home and asked my parents “do you know how to greet English teacher when she enters the class? it is good af mik nu” ! They corrected me, “no it is good afternoon, you got it wrong”. I would be the last person to give up so easily even then. “That’s the way in your days, things have changed now” I had to reply. After a few days I knew my mistake and had learnt many more good words in English correctly. Even then, in several later occasions, whenever a topic arose about this English language and me, this good af mik nu episode had been narrated in full detail. The very reason why I still remember this clearly. Needless to say, I started to learn how to greet somebody formally in a hard way.

Shankar was my college mate. Shankar wanted to learn to speak Kannada language. He was from Bengal. He was so good in Bengali language that even his English sounded like Bengali. But due to some reason known to him only, he wanted to pick up some Kannada words. Or he must have heard that Kannada is easy to pick up, as all words in that language have to end with any one of the vowels, a to u. That much consistency is there. Even while adapting words from other languages, those words will be Kannadised like car becomes  caru, turning becomes turningu. That simple.

Shankar approached one of the Kannada speaking guys and enquired as how to greet somebody with a good morning. The friend taught him two words, no doubt both ended in a vowel as required. First one with an “a”and the second word with an “o”. ( I leave it to the wild imagination of those  who know Kannada to guess what those words were). But somehow Shankar had a doubt, he felt those words should not be pronounced by a sane person not in the morning, not even at any other time of the day. He wanted to test it out. He found his tutor friend in the Kannada gang ( these linguistic gangs do exist right?) early next morning. With a broad grin Shankar greeted the tutor with a-ending and o-ending words. What he was taught privately was used publicly on the tutor itself. He could see the embarrassment on the faces of all in the gang. He could make out how bad those words were. Also he managed to get to know the right word consisting of the right consonants and ofcourse the right vowel at the end. He also learnt it in a hard way!

So, learning to greet someone can be hard. One should know how much one can smile, how many times one can shake hands, holding hands at what optimum pressure, how much to bend down, how close to go while hugging, should or shouldn’t kiss on the cheek even if the other party is kissable and so on. While the hard part remains there, the good part is that greeting helps. You may be so happy on that day that you got a salary hike that too in double digits. And you will have all the reason to have a smile and greet your friend coming opposite to you. Your friend still worried about the mosquito bite he had on the previous day noon, still worried about the sleepless night because of the fever he had which didn’t subside till now. He may not smile as broadly as you did, but at least your warm greeting would make him forget for a moment about the highly probable Dengue Virus infection, and the possible trauma he has to go through  by continuously counting his blood platelets, if not counting days.

I just filed my income tax returns yesterday. And you know what, it’s pleasant surprise for me.  It is not only that I managed to file it successfully, there is more to it. I had paid more advance tax than required. So I am expecting a good amount as refund – free money !!! Do I need any other reason this morning to smile heartily and greet you all by saying “Good Morning”?

It's all about hurting

Last weekend I decided to get into some clean-up act. Why?

The space between my house and the house behind is covered by a strong metal grill. Believe me, there is some space there! Grill is to prevent thieves from getting into my house, trying to steal and eventually hurt us since they could not find anything worth stealing! And there is a huge mango tree in my neighbour’s compound only the root being there, the most of the fleshy part of it is overhanging above my house. Every Jan-Feb it will flower like nobody’s business. Every time I would count that it would yield at least a thousand mangoes. And I would be confident that I would be able to get a good percentage of those mangoes without doing anything.

By the time March arrives, all those flowers will dry up and fall down majestically on my compound grill. A few mangoes here and there would be visible on the tree which would also die prematurely. End result, there would be a thick layer of coating on top of the grill which would constitute a nice bed for the falling leaves one after another – no free mangoes !. I would wait April thru June to see whether by some magic this opaque layer above the grill would go off by itself, which it would never. It would rather thicken. Come July, my wife will start cursing everybody except the main culprit – the mango tree. Which would tell me that it is time for me to get into a clean-up act, so did I last week end.

Although I managed to remove most of the ugly stuff with whatever blunt tools I had, there were quite a few leaves which didn’t fall through. I found those leaves with such crazy shapes and curves, they would stick to the grill till the last breath. I had to use my fingers to guide them down through the grill. While doing that I had an opportunity to see the green tree through the grill after a long time which made me over-excited. My enthusiasm was at such high levels, I didn’t realise my tender fingers were brushing against the grill in the process. I could see the tree and the sky even better, but I could see a few bruises on my fingers as well. It still pains. But I decided to manage the pain in my hands instead of visiting a doctor and inviting more pain!

In a jubilant, over-excited mood one can inadvertently get hurt himself, or even hurt others.

An elderly lady was hurt by my cousin, when we were at the age of just 10. In a boat. Our grandfather had taken us to a temple in the near-by town and return trip he chose to use the ferry service, the cheapest mode of transport. Though I was and I am scared of travel by boat, my cousin was more paranoid. He always visualized the worst, the boat would drown and it would be the last travel in his life. As the over-crowded boat started moving, tossing started and my cousin started shouting a bit mildly. Once the boat reached deep into the back waters, the water was turbulent due to passage of a huge ship in the vicinity, it rocked more. Shouts from my cousin out of fear became more and more audible to others in the boat.

Suddenly we heard a loud scream which would have been audible even to the people on land. It was not from my cousin. From the old lady who was standing next to him. I realised what had happened. While the boat driver was trying to balance the boat, my cousin was trying to balance his own body. Whether you are 10 year old or 18 or even 52, in such fear you cannot precisely target your elbow jabs. You cannot make them land on parts of another’s body which will pain least to that person!

Obviously his elbows hit the lady in all wrong places. I know for sure, my cousin got over with this fear of travel by boat as he grew. I am also almost sure that that old lady would never have traveled in another boat in rest of her life. Once bitten like this, always shy then on! For ever!!

Fear can make you hurt others or hurt yourself.

Even trying to help can cause damage. My broadband service provider put up No Parking board on my gate. Nice one with his company name and logo in bold letters. I understand that message, it is for others. I park my vehicle in front of that board, because it’s my gate and my vehicle. But there is another fine print on that board that hurts me. It says “download music 10 times faster”. I cannot take it for granted that this message is also only for others, it is definitely targeted me also.

As such, from the age when I realised what a song is, I am trying hard to listen to and enjoy at least one song fully. Trying to hum a tune successfully. But no luck. My agony multiplies as and when I see people enjoying music with ear phones plugged in while walking in the middle of the road, working in office, having food, for that matter while anything they do. Now he is telling me download music 10 times faster. And then do what? It’s hurting my ego 100 times more!

So when we are overwhelmed by emotions, we may tend to do some acts that can hurt others. Or hurt self. We need to be matured and patient enough to understand that. In all other occasions, we can check whether our acts can cause trouble to us or others! But over-caution on this is no good either. We will do nothing then, we will speak nothing then. It will hurt us more. All we can believe is in our judgment! And go ahead with the activity with a brave heart to face the consequences. Let me try to sing a song now! Bye.

True slips

I became suddenly adventurous yesterday, decided to go for a Mallu movie. Like anybody else, I also became an enthusiastic person. I wanted to share the details of my adventure to somebody else.

I attempted to text to one of my aunts, "Premam movieyku pogunnu. Nalla movie aanennu kettu" ( this is current practice of using English alphabets to write Malayalam words - if this looks Greek to you what it means is that "going for Premam movie, heard it is good"). My editor dictionary was on and it would intelligently auto-suggest words if it didn't find a typed word in its vocabulary. Most of those mallu words it could not recognize, it could not auto-suggest either. But it found something for the word "Nalla"( good ). It found an "a" and two "l"s adjacent to it, all it did was prompted the word "balls" ( pardon my language, it is actually not mine but my editor's ! I think my editor has become smarter these days, it knows what am I up to these days !).

So my intention to tell good movie became balls movie. I noticed the error only after I sent the message. I apologized to my aunt  for the error and sent the corrected message immediately. Though I knew my aunt is not that good in English, I didn't want to take any chance - People are not that dumb, they may not know a language well, but they will surely know a few bad words in that language.

Once I managed to finish watching the movie, I realized one thing - the editor, in its most innocent and inadvertent way, made a mistake but it was a correct mistake ! I should not have taken the pains of correcting my original, correct statement to my aunt ! Many a times we would be surprised to see that these slips are not slips at all, but they are hard truth.

Another slip I witnessed was in a cricket ground. I am not talking about those slip positions on the cricket fielding, but this was a genuine slip by the announcer. This was way back when I accompanied my uncle to watch a cricket match. Not that I knew the game of cricket that time, ( forget about complicated things in cricket like gully, slip, lbw etc, I even didn't know how many balls were there in an over - here no need to pardon my language, I meant much more frequently polished stuff here ! ). Attraction for me was a post-match stroll on the near by beach. And of course the pea-nuts and ice-cream which was mandatory while walking in that nice sea breeze.

Match started, score reached 8 runs. Suddenly one wicket fell and instead of announcing 8 for 1 wicket, the announcer shouted 8 for 4 wickets. No idea what made him say that, it was a big slip and he was quick enough to correct the statement. Whether anybody liked it or not, that slip became true in a span of next 2 overs, no runs scored but another 3 wickets fell. The score read 8 for 4 wickets and this time the announcement was true to its core. But my uncle didn't like it a bit. He was a strong supporter of the batting team. We got out of the stadium then and there. Good thing was that I didn't have to wait for the match to get over to proceed for the beach walk and associated goodies! Lucky slip for me !!

No slips, better. But watch out for those slips, they could just be genuine, intuit ones which are trying to fore-tell you the good or not-so-good realities in life though your expectations could be diametrically opposite.

Ways of expression

We have our own way of saying things, don’t we? We adjust our words or expressions to suit the occasion and the audience, don’t we?

I went through a preventive health check-up recently. I thought this is essential for two reasons. 

First reason, any study published tells you that what you have been eating thinking it’s good is no more good. It can bring in any known and unknown disease. It took just couple of minutes for the authorities to identify the element, Lead in the “two-minutes” noodles sold in the market. I can understand if they deposit a bit of highly radio-active Uranium. At least it would have given high energy throughout our life, how much ever short it could be. They selected this stupid, dormant, Lead, the last in the radio-active chain reaction which is normally dumped in the deep sea. No wonder they are asked to call back the product from the market.

Second reason, I believe in doing something that saves tax or life. Thanks to government, spends towards preventive health check-ups are tax exempted. Though one may not find relief seeing those mysterious values on the report it would surely give some tax relief! So kill both things (tax and disease) in one shot by going through a preventive check-up, much to your dislike. 

The consulting doctor had his own way of expressing things. He wrote down in the observation sheet “Mild central obesity”. Had he written “Slightly pot-bellied” I would have been offended. How much ever slight it is – a pot is a pot ! – those harsh real words would have made me start looking at the most important part of my body more often and it would have made me stop going to that doctor again. No doubt, his soft and kind words saved him!

Once I landed in a small town near my hometown. In search of “Pallikkunu Bungalow” my friend’s ancestral place. “Just ask anybody once you get down the bus stop, all know that place well there” was the only direction given to me by my friend. Yes, I did get down from the bus and asked the first person about the directions to the Bungalow. I expected him saying something like – “go straight, turn immediate left and then turn on the second right and ask somebody else there” !  But what I got from him in that 4-way junction was “Walk for 5 minutes towards east, you will find a road going towards south another 10 minutes on that road you will find the place”. I was not sure how to proceed as the hot sun was exactly above my head as it was close to 12 noon! (This is old story. Things have changed now. I do have a compass now on my new mobile phone which tells me where the North is. I like these mobile phone manufactures more than the phones, they know the damage their product makes – makes people directionless by excessive whatsApping and FBying – they do damage control by providing at least one direction - the all important North on the phone itself!)

There are instances when mere words will not suffice. One needs action. One foreigner the other day got frustrated while watching an IPL cricket match. There is no wicket or cricket in the country which he belongs to, so his interest would have been watching those cheer girls when some important event (of which he might not have any clue about) happened during the match. He was hugely disappointed when the match was abandoned half way due to rains. He didn’t shout. He didn’t utter a word though he was angry. He chose to do a streaking which no words could explain. 

My uncle had come down to get some advance tests done at St John’s hospital for his little daughter. He belongs to a place where mosquitoes out-number humans by a good margin. If somebody’s only goal to donate blood is with the belief that it will remove some bad blood from his body and new fresh blood will be generated, he does not have to do anything there. The mosquitoes will remove ample quantities of blood ( bad and good as well ) from your body by one good-night’s stay there! Uncle found a few mosquitoes sitting on my recently painted wall. He took a newspaper, rolled into a shape of a nice stick. I could see the size of the mosquito and if it is hit on the wall itself, it will leave red graffiti on the wall definitely not to my taste. So before my uncle could think and act, I demonstrated, I just closed my hands close to the wall but not touching the wall but catching only the mosquito. Uncle got the message and he didn’t pursue further his mosquito catching drill, obviously he didn’t want to dirty his hands.

I was not rich enough to own a car those days. I was not even rich enough to put a new battery for the stolen one on my bike. No battery, no horn - so I didn’t think it was safe to take mosquito-catcher uncle and his daughter on my bike through the city roads noiselessly! We hired the three wheeler auto. While traveling in the auto, I realised the bike would have been much safer. It was sheer luck that all three of us were not taken in to any nearby hospital dead or alive.

Auto driver over shot the first gate and reached the second gate of hospital, no wonder this happened considering the speed at which he was driving. Later to realise that we needed to go back to the first gate. Without a second thought or look he just turned to the right to take a U turn hitting a bike rider on his right. He skidded and fell down. Before we realised what happened, the person coming on another bike from opposite direction seeing all this commotion, just stopped as we alighted from the auto. He had his own way of conveying things. He just slapped the auto driver as hard as he could. Auto driver vanished with his auto at double the speed. The slapper resumed his journey on his bike. The skidder just brushed aside his bruises and continued his journey. 

I am still trying to locate the unknown auto driver and pay him the charges with due interest. All I can do now is to express my words of gratitude through this blog, for taking us to the hospital for free of charges, though a bit dangerously! Knowing fully there is no remotest chance of that auto driver reading this and trying to claim his dues!

Having said all these, is it not powerful at times to keep quiet? No words, no expression, no action - can be more powerful in certain instances. Do I need any words to drive this point? each of us would have used or experienced that power someday or other.

The Post-Box and Nair

It is hanging there on the electric pole near to the bus stand on 80 feet road withstanding all weather - summer or monsoon - or anything in-between which is more common these days. There are shades of red paint here and there on its body which reminded me of its past glory. “Next clearance 09:45”was the only visible thing on its body, yes I am talking about the post-box which is anxiously looking for any other customer other than the postman who might probably open it at 09:45!

I am sure this post-box will survive for some more days, as its body is rugged and meant to last long even in extreme conditions. Even now it is definitely used by a few – thanks to some section of people who still believe that the invitation to a marriage or any other function to outstation guests would be complete if and only if a printed copy of the invitation is sent by post. Thanks to many government agencies who still insist that any written communication to be sent to them only by ordinary post just to help their big brother. Even if these beliefs and conditions fade away, the post-box would continue to hang around there for some more time until the new-gen kids, who are unaware of old postal systems, who suddenly become aware of the cleanliness drive, start using these boxes mistaken as dustbins to dump the chocolate wrappers and chewed gums!

Last year I inserted as many as two envelops into a post-box. One instance was to send the signed copy of my Income-tax returns to the IT department (I hear this might not be required this year since I am proud owner of an Aadhar card ). The second instance was when my wife wanted to participate in a competition appeared in a women’s monthly magazine. She had meticulously collected pages from six consecutive issues to answer some questions such as “who built Taj Mahal?” only to find the challenge in the last issue which asked her to respond to the question “what is the main reason you find it interesting to read our magazine?”. I had to use all my brains to help her to come up with a statement giving all non-existing reasons in as many as fifteen words. And I had to walk to the nearest post-office to put that envelope containing all the answers into a post-box. She didn’t win any prize as she religiously bought the next 6 issues to find the results. I hope that would be a good enough reason for me not to go any way near a post-box this year!

I had approached Nair once. This was long time back- when my uncle and his family landed up in the city with a wait-listed return train ticket - when I was new to the city and wanted to prove my uncle that I was already well-established - when online train reservations were unheard of. Uncle wanted me to find ways to get the tickets confirmed – obviously less by hook and more by crook. Somebody told me to meet Nair at the railway station. I had to hang around for an hour or so to get the “darshan” of Nair, hefty fellow with a thick, long mush. He heard my story as he was adjusting his mush with his left thumb and index finger. “Come to the platform fifteen minutes prior to the departure of the train” that’s all he said while collecting a huge “service fee” from me. As promised, Nair was prompt with the confirmed tickets at the platform. I saw many others thanking him profusely; he was majestically accepting every bit of it while nurturing his mush continuously.

Years passed by, computerization of train reservations happened. Luckily no other uncle came home with wait-listed return ticket and I didn’t have any reason to approach Nair again. A few of them had already started trying and struggling to book the tickets online from home using internet. I didn’t want to be a guinea pig by testing those initial systems. I had opted to go to a local reservation centre near my house. During one of those trips to the centre, I found a familiar face – found a familiar mush would be more appropriate to say. Same old Nair but reduced in weight and height (he stooped a lot)  by a good margin, only his mush remained as heavy as it was, though it turned grey. More of computerization and less of manual intervention made Nair’s service obsolete, now he was cleaning the computer terminals and bringing coffee/tea to the young smart clerks at the computer desks as and when they demanded. My one hour stay at the centre, even after reaching there one hour prior to its opening time made it possible for me to witness Nair's new end-to-end services! Just like the post-box, Nair was also somehow trying to survive while counting days (do keep it in mind, post-box service was all legitimate while Nair was full of fraud and malpractice– but it didn’t matter!)

Survival is important and it would somehow happen. The smarter thing to do is to be a bit pro-active so that one does not feel the pains of getting through it. And not to end up in the same fate as that of a post-box or Nair with the mush.