The Stare !

As I was sitting alone in temple the other day, a gentleman came and sat next to me. I don’t know him. He does not know me. 

To open a conversation he looked at his old umbrella and smiled at me. I also looked at his umbrella which was old enough to survive another two heavy rains max in this monsoon season.  

But before he could start conversation an old man joined us. He was too old to walk but somehow managed to come and sit next to us.  Luckily he was known to this umbrella carrying man.  

He started explaining to the old man  :

“ Look at my umbrella. The other day I went to an acquaintance’s house. Who happened to be an umbrella repairer.  He stared at my umbrella. I told him, my umbrella was fine. He was not ready to listen. He stared at my umbrella more vigorously. He told me it did not fold properly because some knots had become loose. He inspected and told me 4 knots to be retied. Per knot he charged 5 rupees, since he was known to me he could do it for 4 rupees per knot. I agreed to it and got it done. You see how people’s stare generates free income for them”.

Then it was time for the umbrella carrying man to go off as someone called him to join him for walk, so he got up. Then he made his final announcement.

“I want to use this old umbrella as much I can, though I get free new umbrellas every now and then when I attend 13^th day function of a deceased person, you know I am member of priest’s family.”

Then he had a good stare at the old man before walking away!

Displays that vanished

It is good news for people in Bangalore – I shifted from there. Not so good news for people in Kochi – that is where I live now!

As such when one relocates, one needs to keep in mind the new weather, food habits, dress code, stray dogs and equally dangerous mosquitoes – there are many other such things. One among them is your neighbor.

The very next day after I moved in I decided to open the back door and get the sight of Sun for enhancing the Vitamin D in my body. I might need stronger teeth and bones to survive. May be it is too early in the day as I moved towards  western part of the globe, or may be the nearby buildings were blocking the sun -  I did not find any sun or his rays. But I did find something on my back gate. Though it is around 30 feet away from my back door, the display was quite visible. It was clothes spread nicely on my gate for drying!

As such I was somewhat fine seeing that display early in the morning. But I could not stand listening to all sorts of “unkind” words from my wife – that too about the stupid underwear of my neighbor!!!

As I was entering through the back gate the very next day I heard something, which I thought would solve all my problems. “Why are you putting those clothes on other’s gate ?” It was a young guy to his old mom. I felt for a moment that I am not alone. There are like minded people like me in this world who are sensitive to others needs and issues. Then came his next statement “ That too you put only my clothes, if you want you can put your own clothes !!” I pretended as if I didn’t know their language and entered came reply from mom “ I will not remove them now. If you want, you do it yourself!!!”

Before confronting with them and losing rapport with a good neighbor, I decided to analyse the reason why they are behaving like this. It is not that the (under)garments guys have advertised that if you dry them in metal surface the body parts that cover them will be in good condition – no I don’t remember seeing such ads. Not that they get a pleasure by displaying such artifacts on our gate. I came to know from the previous tenant of the house that this habit was normal and nothing new.

I came to the conclusion that probably they see me as an outsider. They are trying to give me a strong message that they would not change their habits a bit by my sheer modern outlook and presence !! They would continue to live as they have been.

I decided to become friendly with the old couiple. Started talking to them about anything else but clothes ! I enquired about the bundle of joy – their little grand daughter. In fact there were two bundles of joy – twins – fully capable of making similar cries at odd hours of the day without knowing who is making which cry ! That worked, my sympathies and empathies to them worked. They feel now I am one of them. They have a broad smile on their faces whenever I see them. More importantly I am able to see the Sun with no obstructions and no burden to my gate. Much  more importantly my wife became quiet on that front !!! 

I avoided a big risk of becoming life time enemy of them and also avoided the risk of seeing those unwanted clothes in every other opportunity they would get to display to us !!

This does not mean that one can adapt softer methods always. Kill mercilessly those bloody mosquitoes.   Stay away or chase away those troublesome stray dogs. Switch on air conditioner when needed, if the weather is unbearable, harmful and too hot and sultry – do not worry too much about the huge electricity bill – you can pay it through credit card these days!!!

And beware of especially that neighbor who barges into your house and becomes a threat to your peace of mind. I don’t have to tell you which side of his body you need to kick and throw him out of the house. Still my suggestion is try both sides simultaneously for a permanent solution !!!

Have a great weekend ahead , have lots of fun! Enjoy life !!!

Side effects of laughter

Laughter is the best medicine, they say. I also say. A good hearty laugh can give you a good heart. It can make some unknown, complex muzzles and bones move when you laugh, which is otherwise not possible. So, laugh well when you get the next immediate opportunity.

I heard of one incident and witnessed another one which made me laugh in the recent past. Sharing those so that you also develop a good, healthy heart!

First one, the one I heard with a bit of my own exaggeration!

These days Yoga is the mantra for anything and everything to lead a healthy life. So our Aunty also decided to go and attend a yoga class. To reduce her weight to some extent. As such she has to starve for 100 days continuously and to lift 100Kgs of weight in the morning and also in the evening for her to come any way near permissible BMI. She decided to try Yoga as there was a class being organized in the neighborhood, as she could not let go her favorite food items.

She had one challenge though. She always wears sari indoor and outdoor. And she never believed in wearing anything else but sari. But, somebody told her that doing Yoga exercises wearing a sari would be tough. That person advised her to wear a chooridar.  She unwillingly managed to get one stitched and got into it on the first day of the class.

Yoga class just began. She raised her hands to do the pranam. Unfortunately, due to her lack of experience in wearing a chooridar, the bottom part came down as the string that tied it was too loose. Fortunately, her adviser was well experienced in these matters, she had advised her to wear something more decent underneath the pants.

This whole episode had been watched by a young lady just behind, who already wears zero size dress and is aiming for a “sub-zero” figure. And she did see something before the aunt could bring her hands down from pranam position and lift things up. And the “to-be-sub-zero” size lady could not stop laughing. Anyways it was a good opportunity to laugh and she did not want to miss it. Her laugh was a bit louder, aunt turned back and gave the young lady her mouthful. The words which were not present in any text book, for that matter the young lady was hearing them for the first time in her life. So, yes her heart got a temporary shake but she went back home with a much heavier heart.

The second incident I witnessed a few days back. 

Again, another aunt and another young lady. It looks like this aunt-young lady combination always generates laughter. If I come across another similar incident like this, I am sure I will be eligible to publish a study report to prove this point!

They were on the railway platform to catch the train. They reached one hour prior to arrival of the train which was already running late by another hour. And aunt was extremely happy to see that they reached the station much ahead of time. 

Finally the train arrived. Aunt single-mindedly pursued her goal of reaching to her seat and occupying it. But her daughter was smarter.  She found the door of the adjacent compartment comparatively less crowded and she jumped into it with so much of ease. Aunt also decided to follow suit.

As this was happening, I was watching another lady trying with all humility to enter the compartment. She was a foreign national and must be from one of the western countries. Every time she tried to get in, somebody or other would push her and she would politely give way. Finally she found some space to squeeze in. That is the time our highly goal-oriented aunt arrived at the scene  and pushed the foreign lady with such force that she was thrown away by at least a metre. The foreign lady laughed loudly yelling “Oh man”. I knew she meant something else when she spoke those kind words. I gestured her saying this is our way of things, and one needs to always push to get your things done! I don’t think she understood what I meant, she had to laugh for a few more occasions before finally she managed to get in!

So, opportunities to laugh are plenty. Do make good use of them. But do it judiciously.  Control the intensity of laugh based on each circumstance. There would always be those loose strings around and there would always be people who try to push you out. Of course laughing in those occasions is also good for your heart, but yes, that small organ can wait.

Buying Tea Powder !

“Tea powder got over. You need to buy today” my wife announced this last evening. If anything else, I would have postponed. Tea cannot wait. If I don’t drink a cup of tea early in the morning, lots of stuff would have to wait then!! So I rushed out on my bike.

My first destination was Reliance Fresh mart - not my usual shop, to get something fresh. At the entry, the security guard gave me a dirty look, why are you here types !!! I wanted to keep my helmet somewhere, he told me “no place, take it inside”. It did not start ominously.

I managed to locate the shelf where tea was kept. After going through so many items and shelves, discount boards, loyalty program displays et al, and equally large crowd inside. Hitting inadvertently some of them with my helmet !! But I could not find the 250gms pack there. They had only stocked family pack – that too joint family packs – a joint family of moderate size would take a couple of months to finish its contents. Even if all of them are heavy tea drinkers, who consume tea five times a day!

So dejected I tried to get out of the exit door. I was lucky. The queue waiting for billing was so long. Even if I had waited and eventually managed to buy the tea from there, I would have definitely reached home. But it would have been too close to my morning tea time !!

It started drizzling as I set off on my bike. So I stopped at the very next shop on the way, though I had never done that in my life earlier. It was a residential house, front portion converted into a provision store. That shop looked more spacious, primarily because it had very few items to offer. A person with below average IQ could count and memorize what all there in that shop in 20 minutes. Because of the fear of a heavy downpour on the anvil, I decided to venture!

The shop keeper, the only person in that shop came in the front with lots of inertia. My hunch is that, he had converted the front potion of his house into a shop and sat there with a few items. Because he did not have anything better to do in his life !!

Luckily he had the pack I was looking for. Close to expiry date but still I decided to buy. MRP was rupees 102. I picked up a 100 rupee note from my pocket and handed it over to him. He accepted it, but did not retract his hand. He stood his ground motionless, holding his hand firm, looking anxiously for that remaining 2 rupees. Not that I ever dreamt that he would waive those 2 rupees off. But still, I had tried but failed. I picked up all coins in my pocket. There was one 2 rupee coin and another two 5 rupee coins. While accepting the 2 rupee coin, he noticed those 5 rupee coins in my hand. “Can you give me those coins, I will give you a 10 rupee note”! he was demanding. I gave a nasty look at him, picked up my packet and vanished from the site after completing my first and last visit to that shop !!!

Not that all shops or shop keepers are like that – obviously all customers are also not like me!!. But still ! I will tell you about Ganesh and his stores -  just to prove that a good shopkeeper-customer relationship need no pre-conditions !

I go to Ganesh stores, may be once a month. To buy that lamp wick for my wife to light the evening lamp. It costs twenty rupees and he may get a margin of hardly 5 rupees. Don’t underestimate that he is small time fellow. Though he has a small shop of may be 12 feet by 12 feet, but he sells pooja items, he sells numerous things, the list is endless. And always customers will be around him. 

Ganesh would greet me with a broad smile, though there will be at least four or five customers already in front of him. He would pick up those wicks from nowhere within no time, among from those hundreds and hundreds of items stacked up in every inch of that shop remaining after the space his huge body occupies! And he would know the price of every item, he does not have to refer anywhere, not even at the the MRP printed on the pack!

Unfortunately, Ganesh does not sell tea powder. Else, I would have gone there to get it. Irrespective of whether it rains or not, whether discount is there or not, whether I have exact change to tender or not. Because Ganesh knows what a customer needs. And I know, I will never return unhappy, whether I could buy or not something from him.

Do visit !

Last week, I had a reason to go to my hometown and visit my relatives and family friends. Almost all of them. The reason as such is not that important for today’s discussion. What is more important is my experiences of meeting them after a long time.

I went to my cousin’s house Siva. Siva is one of the 10 kids of his parents. If some of them had survived after birth, he would have been among a dozen! Like all his siblings, he also did not have the bad habit of studying well. He could not complete 10^th standard. But, luckily he did not have any other bad habits which his siblings had. He has been working in a bank, the job he got on compassionate grounds once his grandma who had passed away while in service in that bank.

Siva is currently living in a decent 3 bedroom house, much bigger than the one he had tried to live in his parents place. His daughter is studying in a well reputed college, clearly indicating her brilliance in studies. She just entered plus one grade, she is already crystal clear what she wants to do in future, Masters in physics. Siva was so excited to receive me in his house and showing me around. I felt so happy for him and his family.

My next visit was to one of my uncle’s house. He was a manager in a bank when I knew him at my age of 10 or 11. Those days I always eagerly waited to go to his house. Big 4 bedroom house of at least 2500 square feet in area, the type of food he would arrange for us when we visited him was world class. I would not have been fed like that anywhere else. Currently he is staying in a one bedroom house, hardly 300 square feet in size, not even one 6^th the size of Siva’s house. He was happy to see me, though he was eager to see me off as quickly as possible, understandable. He felt more bad than I did, seeing him in that condition. Unfortunately something went wrong in his professional life, he just could not recover from that. His financial condition went bad to worse. I felt sad for him and his family.

While the above two are living in urban area, there are many in rural area too. I didn’t miss the opportunity to visit them. One my cousin’s daughter had been recently married to a much wealthy family and she was also at home when I went there. He made me eat whatever they had prepared for their breakfast. Whatever fake excuses I gave him, including a bad stomach upset, did not work. It did not end there. He wanted me to go to his daughter’s in-laws place. He accompanied me in the cab I hired. Though the approach to that house was narrow, he did not allow me to get down on the main road and walk upto the house. Probably he wanted to impress upon his new relatives that he too have people who travel by car. He made the cab driver use all his manoeuvring skills to bring the car to the front portico of the house. Such a warm and curious welcome received from all those folks. Luckily they didn’t force beyond a point to eat something from there. Even if they did I couldn’t have eaten a bit. I was so full!

The house of an old couple is almost 100 metres away from the main road through a narrow pathway. They live alone in that house surrounded by a pond and trees. Even if in the unlikely event of a heart attack to one of them ( they are so happy and healthy, I doubt they will have a heart attack at all in their life ) if they shout, nobody would hear. Seeing me, tears rolled down from that lady and she said “No body from city visits us these days, we are so happy”. She wanted me to have lunch with them, and stay back there for a day if possible. With lots of pain, I had to reject her kind offer and move on.

                                                                             

Then I visited houses of two old widows. One was living alone in a good house. Her companion is just a dog. She had just returned from her daughter’s place after a week’s visit. Seeing me, she did not know what to do. She was so excited, moving around the house, explaining to her dog who I am and how he should behave with me. Even she took her mobile phone to order food for me! The other widow was staying in a posh, isolated house. Her son and daughter in law, both go to work. She is alone in that huge house, of course she also has a dog as her friend. Through some other source she came to know that I was visiting her. She prepared lunch and waited for me, well past 1.5 hours her usual lunch time. To dine with me! As such I was not prepared to have lunch for another few days, I had enough by that time!!

There are many more such people and houses I visited. Facebook and whatsApp is good. They have their own purpose. But when we make time and visit these relatives or friends in far off places, then only we get good perspective as how we should live. How we should behave. I cannot forget the joy in those faces, when I met them after a long time. It was worth every second of their company.

Extra Mile

One needs to go for that extra mile. Who can dispute that fact?, If you are living in an urban area, whether you like it or not, you will end up in walking that extra mile.

I also started doing that. Walk an extra mile in the morning to fetch milk from the nearby booth. If I choose to take the shortest route, I have to go through the garbage heap dumped by fellow citizens. The garbage which has been lying for days in this rainy season. Anxiously waiting for to be taken by the corporation workers and given a ceremonial burial in no man’s land. So I take a roundabout route to reach the booth, which gives me an opportunity to go for an extra mile.

Last evening, I found a co-axial cable hanging from a tree right in the middle of the road. It is not something new, one always finds those data cables, anywhere and everywhere. But this one was broken and it was partially blocking the traffic as every driver was using all his manoeuvring skills to avoid that cable. In all likelihood it could strangle a two wheeler rider as he would see it in the last minute only that too while reading an important whatsApp message on his mobile phone while riding.

A good hearted person coming opposite to me, decided to go for an extra mile to help the commuters. He did manage to pull the cable down and put it aside on one side of the road. Good luck for him, all went well. Little did he know that the data cable was entangled and mixed well with the power lines all the way. The insulation of the cable was good, he didn’t get electrocuted. If the cable was live, probably I would have ended details of this incident differently. Else, in that fraction of a second, seeing him getting electrocuted, who knows I also would have gone an extra mile to save him. Then I would not have been able to start this blog at all, forget about the ending !!

This morning somebody not just walked, ran that extra mile. Again, I was on the way to the milk booth. “sir, bath room kither hey ?” ( where is the bathroom ? ). When I heard this question I looked back. I noticed an old man, unshaven, unkempt, wearing really shabby clothes, yet to get over from previous day’s hang over. From his appearance and question, I could make out that he was not searching for a place to take a bath. I couldn’t feel that he ever had such bad habits. I could also make out that, he was not pressed to pass urine, there are still so many places around with no warning signage stating “do not urinate here”, where he could do that job easily. So, he was actually pressed with the a very serious but fundamental need. I gave him directions to the nearest public toilet, almost a mile away. I could see that poor man virtually running that extra mile. I sincerely hoped he had that much little money with him to pay to use the toilet.

It is indeed a virtue to live in an urban area, it gives a person ample opportunities to go for that extra mile. Only thing is that it is too frequent with that mile getting longer and more painful !

Doing good to others

Doing something good to others is noble. Others can include social and not-so-social animals. I am sure all will agree to this. There is enough material shared in all possible social media to drive this point. I don’t have to over emphasise it here.

With that motto in mind I started cleaning my car myself. Good to the car and good to me as well, some exercise to my body. One fine day I found out that my neighbour was vacating his house. Not sure whether it is good or bad to me or to him -  only time would tell. But it was definitely bad for the boy who used to come and clean my neighbour’s car for a fee. I thought I would do something good to that boy. I could make out from his appearance, he was from another far-off state and being migrant struggling to meet both ends meet. Moreover, I believe that something, which I am not good at, needs to be outsourced to someone who may not be that good at it. But since it is a paid job he would be more committed than myself, of course under my supervision!

So it started off well on the first day, car cleaning by that boy, with no major incidents. But unfortunately, the very incident of cleaning the car itself happened only for a few days in the month. Many days, I used to wait for him and he didn’t show up even after 9 AM. I also could not undertake that work myself when he was absent since car cleaning is one such activity I would prefer to do early in the mornings like many other important cleaning ones.

End of the month, he promptly came to collect the charges. When I questioned him, he told me that he was absent only for a few days. I thought I would give him another chance. Gave him half-month charges and allowed him to continue with his services for another month.

His willingness to allow me to do something good to him drastically reduced. Far more less days he was present in the subsequent month. With lots of deliberation, I had to stop his services giving him another half-month charges by month end. Otherwise in the process of trying to help him, it might bring in lots of inconvenience to me.

So I restarted cleaning my vehicle myself.  And while doing that activity I find one fairly old man going for his usual morning walk. Good man like me. Nice music will play from his mobile phone, good peppy numbers from Bollywood – one usual song is “Choli ke peeche kya hey !”. He is kind enough to keep it in good volume. So that it is audible to others, just to keep them also in a good mood.

But, today apart from the music generating device, he had a large polythene bag in his hands.  As he moved away from me I saw him bending down and spreading the contents on the middle of the road. It was unused greens and he was trying to do something good to those cows. Those very cows who always pass by me and stop for a moment and appreciate what I am doing until I wave them off. Cows just smelt it and ignored. Good that they were not hungry, otherwise they would have eaten that huge chunk of rotten greens and also the huge milli-micron thick polythene bag which the old man mercilessly threw right in the middle of the road in anger ! As such corporation workers do good things hardly once a week by pretending to sweep the roads. No doubt that plastic bag would fly around eternally unless it is eaten by a hungry cow.

So let me stand corrected. Doing something good to others is noble, so long as it is required by the other party. So long as it doesn’t result in inconvenience to self or others.