Miseries

“Where do you live? “ I told where I live. “You are so lucky, you are living within city limits. Look at me, I am in the outskirts, struggling for everything, no shops nearby, no water, no proper roads”. The person started listing down all miseries in life.

I was in the day-train to my home town, traveling alone. Eleven hours of journey but I managed to get a seat in the chair car, A/C that too a window seat, I was proud of myself! Before boarding the train I tried to locate the passenger list just to know who would be sitting next to me. I normally do that and based on name, age, sex and destination I try to draw a pen picture of the person to do an assessment as how uncomfortable that person's journey would be! But the usual list that would appear near the door was missing this time, I didn’t have any clue as what was in store for me.

Then the moment came, a man appeared and took the seat next to me. He was the one who wanted first to know where did I live. He was the one who had no doubt in his mind that he is one of the few with all the miseries in the world. And he was the one who believed that he should never miss a single opportunity to narrate those miseries to others. And he did that faithfully till the eleventh hour of our journey.

I am not a tall person, but he was at least six inches shorter than me. I have only a few hairs left on my head, he had fewer! So his sheer appearance itself made me feel superior to him. I started forgetting all my troubles in life from the beginning itself. “What is the point in having money, I have enough but no happiness”. I wanted to tell him that there are many around us who do not have both, at least you have one of them. He looked old alright, and from the conversation I could make out that he is lonely also. Being old has its good and bad, but being old and lonely is all bad – I could only empathize with him. I folded the novel; I had just turned to page no 1 with an ambitious target of finishing it during those dull hours. And I kept it safe deep inside my bag with no intention of picking it up for the rest of the day. Fictitious mysteries can wait today, real miseries are more important.

Every ten minutes those caterers brought some snack or other, deep fried in oil. I was overwhelmed by the sweet aroma of those snacks and forgot for a moment that my body already enjoys fairly high amounts of bad cholesterol -actually much more than required - as per the latest blood report. I eagerly looked at him once or twice to see whether he would buy a few of them so that I could also buy, if not share what he bought! He was least affected by the smell of food. He had only been talking. I couldn’t resist any more. I asked him whether he would like to have any of those. “No no, I have serious cholesterol problem, I just can’t eat these oily stuff”. He disclosed his cholesterol composition to the minute level, voluntarily. I felt relieved, I seem to be much healthier than him, his levels are at least 100 points above mine. In all probability my arteries could be less clogged than his, should I go by those health study reports.

He had many more miseries and he went on to my delight!

So it may not always be true that miseries in life are all that bad if you really think about it. It gives a topic to start a conversation and share with somebody, that too with no homework required!. It also gives tremendous opportunity for the listener to feel good. To feel that he is better off compared to many others in this world !

But one has to wait to meet such people who would narrate their problems just to get relieved of their worries, in turn he himself gets relieved much more! It’s a passive way, and may not always happen when required. And people can’t wait for chances just like that. 

So what do people do? They create those opportunities. “Did you know, Mohan’s daughter eloped with a boy belongs to another religion, forget about that, he is just a plumber by profession. I am not sure how Mohan is taking it!”. “Heard that Peter is suffering from some sort of cancer, he hasn’t told anybody but I came to know through one of the hospital staff whom I know. Peter is having terrible pain and his days are numbered.” Information on other’s miseries gets shared quickly to n number of people in no time. These people like to talk about other people’s misery, it makes them feel their own life is somehow better, when many a times it actually isn’t.

So it may be natural to think or tell other people’s miseries when one feels so miserable and absolutely nothing goes right in one’s life. To get consoled himself that his life is better than many others. In any case one will be trying to provide solutions when he hears others miseries, so no issues there. In all other occasions, he can look up to others who are having a better life, I am pretty sure such people always do exist!. While it is also natural to get jealous of them, he can observe one or two good things in them which make them happier, with an intention to try to practice those things, if not for anything else.