Trust me

When someone is about to go to sleep, if he hears a news -whether it is good or bad - chances are high that he will have to try to go to sleep again after a good amount of time. 

That was what happened to me a few days back, in fact I was lucky, I had both good and bad news! While I almost fell into sleep, I got a call from my son who had gone out in car. Good news was that there was no accident on the way. Bad news was that car engine just ran but the gear was not getting engaged. Car was not moving an inch forward/reverse.

I immediately rushed to the spot on my two wheeler, a good 2 KMs away from home. I also tried a few stunts at random – switched the engine on an off, pushed the car for a few yards and switched on again, switched gears 1-2-3-4-5 and back and reverse, tapped on the steering wheel for a few times! No luck.  And I knew that the only thing we could do was push the car as much as we could do till we found a good place to park for the night and go home, trying to get some sleep then on. We did exactly that so that the vehicle could be towed to service centre next day morning. I had to trust that in that night no nocturnal animals/human beings would tamper with the vehicle parked in that no-man’s land.  And I trusted right, next morning no further damages to the vehicle.

As the car was pulled and dragged on the road by the towing van, I had to trust that it would reach the destination with no more incidents. I had to trust that the van driver would steer his own vehicle in such a way that in the process my own vehicle gets along with ample clearance in those busy roads. I trusted right again, the car and I were brought into the hands of the service engineer unharmed, though I did expect a huge dent to my pocket soon.

“Clutch loading plate gone, it needs to be replaced”, declared the engineer. From the tone of his voice and expression on his face I could make out that it was going to be an expensive affair.  “Is there any way you can refurbish and use the same part instead of replacing it with a new one?” , I asked not trusting my own confidence that he would agree to my suggestion. He had a grin on his face showing all his teeth which actually outnumbered the remaining few numbers of good teeth on the gear of my car! And he said, “No it is not possible”. I had to trust him, he knew much more than me.

Laborious replacement ceremony happened in 48 hours’ time. I went to the service station to collect the vehicle, not forgetting to carry along with me all my debit/credit cards and a few currency notes I had in cash. The engineer handed over me the damaged part, explaining what was the damage. I could not make out what the damage was which made it not to be repaired, but I had to trust him. And I had to clear a heavy bill to take the vehicle delivery. All the while driving back, I had to convince myself that the damaged part lying in the boot, which I would soon sell to a scrap dealer for peanuts, would not be refurbished and brought back to the service station for replacement for another car, if not for my own car during the next service. I had to trust that it would not happen.

Apples and other fruits are contaminated with pesticides, so I don’t buy them. I get used to driving on roads with potholes, the politicians will never get the roads tarred well. I hesitate to go to a doctor, as he would ask me to go through all unnecessary tests to test my patience. I rarely travel by train, as those trains were manufactured when I was a small child, unlike me, with no much preventive maintenance after its birth. Farmers commit suicide, nobody can trust when the monsoon rains will come and in what quantum. So happenings around make me not to trust many things.

In such not-so-good a situation, the service providers will attempt their best to show credibility and build the confidence in customers. While they keep doing that, as a customer all you can do is try to trust something which you are not sure of trusting, no reason for you to mistrust it either when it's your turn! Just to keep things moving and to make you decide on things and to move on, to be happy and not to sound like a grumpy old person. This approach is worthwhile, trust me.

Ending Conversations

I also got chance to join a whatsApp group recently. Old friends’ network, nice talking to them after a long time. That evening I wished people here and there. Time was reaching midnight. Then two other friends joined the group chat. I was the only one left along with them in the chat session.

“Hi how are you? – first-one.

“I am fine,  living with my wife in Delhi, how many kids you have?”- second-one.

“Two, a son and a daughter” – first-one.

“Ok goodnight”- second-one.

“Good night” – first-one.

The conversation ended abruptly even before I could get into a conversation and know more about them. Probably the second-one got reminded that he has only one kid. He was not still that late. And he was not in a mood to talk anymore!

I came to know from one of my relatives that my talkative aunt is not keeping all that well. Mild asthma. Not able to breathe properly. I decided to call her and cheer her up. I spoke to her. But only I spoke! I deliberately avoided asking her about her health. I didn’t want to remind her of her problem and make her feel worse. I spoke all good things happening around the world. Not much response from her. I thought her asthma was making her talk less. I hung up after a while.  My relative calls me “what did you do to the aunt? She is angry, she says you are so healthy, wealthy and happy and didn’t even bother to enquire about her health. So she didn’t even bother to talk to you”. I was so sad that I could not ease out my aunt’s breathing a bit by making her talk. Though I felt happy that there is at least one unhappy person in this world who thinks I am super happy.

Those were the days when I used to clean up, fix problems in computer programs, that too written by others that too many years back. Thanks to ENGLISH language structure, the COBOL programs used to run into pages. Only way to understand and debug those programs was to take a print out. COBOL was such that, even a small customer enquiry program would look bigger than any one chapter in Bhagavad Gita! 

As usual in the morning, I took the bundle of printout from the only printer kept in the farther corner and walking towards my workplace. We had only a few customers,  even fewer dollars getting from them, so cost reduction was a necessity. Taking huge printouts was not considered as a waste though. If we stopped that too then we feared we would lose the existing few customers.

I found it extremely difficult to get through the door on the corridor. Many reasons for that. Reason one I had a reasonably growing belly, initial days in my colourful career. Reason two, the door which was broad once, cut into half,  one half got converted into a storage space to keep office stationery – of course under a lock & key to avoid unauthorised misuse. Reason three, the huge printout that I was trying to hold in my hands.

Then I saw my HR lady coming from the other direction. Young, giggly, very pleasant. My normal smile to her used to fetch me ample dividends in terms of nice, series of sentences from her, which would give me enough energy to go through those boring programs.  Looking at the bundle in my hands, I wanted to hear much more of such words from her. So I decided to comment on something rather than giving her a usual smile. “This door needs to be broader”. I could see her face turning red. She went across even without a smile. In that enthusiasm, I had forgotten that she was a bit obese for her age! Needless to say the printout remained on my desk for the whole day with no much progress made!

It looks like it’s rather easy to break a conversation than to build one. I wish while talking, I always had that art to adjust myself and my words, to suit the other party’s state, mood and interests.

                                                        

make others happy

Always try to make others happy. We are taught enough lessons by our teachers to drive this point home. And often we try. Any organization we work for, customer delight is of prime importance whether we like it or not. And we are encouraged (pardon me for the sugar coated HR jargon here, it simply means you better do it!) to achieve the same.

One of the ways I make others happy is by doing something to meet or exceed their expectations without being told to me. That is why I try to take bath every day before my most important customer,- my wife-  asks the routine question “did you take bath today?”. To answer yes, to make myself happy, to make my wife happier! I can’t tell a lie there, she has enough ways to find out whether I have really taken bath. Then I wonder why that question in the first place! Yes, I only just wonder to myself and don’t delve into it at all, for my own happiness. Taking a bath is much easier!!

Always try to make others happy, a good practice but the always part is a bit tricky. A few incidents make me think otherwise.

I always go early in the morning to fill petrol in my car. Many reasons for that. Less crowd, less waiting time. My mind is fresh and I am alert to see that I am not cheated. Like many others I am also a big believer of science, that science tells me that during cold mornings the petrol will be denser. That means I would get a few milliliters more petrol for the same amount of money.

Yesterday morning I was returning from the petrol pump successfully. As I was getting into the road I saw the three wheeler auto approaching from far. He was in full throttle, I sensed he must be happy. He would have got a customer in the rear. Otherwise the auto driver would have crawled at 10 KMPH looking out for prospective preys. A normal driver would have taken his car in the middle, made the auto guy slow down and probably made him shout a few un-parliamentary words. I, being a person not to miss an opportunity ever in making others happy, waited patiently for him to pass through, to make him even happier. And then I just followed him.

It took a while for me to switch gears. As I was about to race, I had the worst nightmare in that early morning. One auto parked in the side suddenly came in to the middle of the road. My heart stopped for a second. All my thrills of getting additional few drops of petrol evaporated .With quick reflexes I went into the opposite lane. Luckily the driver of the car coming from the opposite direction had even better reflexes, he also went into the extreme left and avoided me. All happened in a fraction of a second. I looked at the rear view mirror when things became normal. I could see the same auto driver whom I gave way earlier, whom I tried to make happier, was crawling looking out for the next passenger. He didn’t seem to be aware that he almost killed me, probably one more from the opposite direction.

A few weeks back, again early in the morning – I think it is high time I stopped this early morning business, it doesn't seem to be working out too well for me ! – I was walking on the road. A few good looking young ladies talking, happily smiling were coming across me. They abruptly stopped smiling the moment I looked at them, they became serious. Then I realised, probably my face would have been too serious. Probably because of the Chinese food from Chung’s place  I had in the previous night would have stiffened my face a bit more than usual along with other parts of my body in the rear. I decided to loosen up a bit. They say when you try to smile with even for no reason, you may tend to feel happier in life. I agree, only when you are not faced with any pressing problems though! So I tried to smile a bit. Why should I curtail somebody else’s happiness by showing my rude face?  

My smiling continued. The next person walking across me was happy too, he had a cheerful, gay disposition. He wore a peculiar dress, an ear ring on the wrong ear! He was walking slowly, swaying a bit. His happiness grew further seeing my smile and I could make out he wanted to become closer to me. I respected his feeling but I didn’t want to be part or partner of his scheme of things. I am straight and like to walk straight. So I walked straight ignoring him, bringing back my face to the original state. No more trying too hard to make others happier this way!

These are odd exceptions and these exceptions will no way hamper my enthusiasm to make others happy as and when possible. Don’t I need to do that to survive? to keep myself happy?

Good af mik nu

My little nine year old niece uses her dad’s mobile phone and greets me using a whatsApp message “good evening”. That too appended with a few smileys. That gesture really boosts my energy levels, after a tiring day. 

I came across the concept of greeting someone when I reached the fifth standard. Till then in the primary school, teachers didn’t know how to greet or get greeted. Or they simply didn’t care. Our focus was more on things like ten parrots happily singing on a tree branch – quite understandable -too early to learn other complicated, tough things in life. The teacher says that one parrot while singing faints and falls down and asks how many are now left on the tree. We rack our right brain to analyse what would happen to the collapsed singer, whether it would re-join the chorus soon after recovery. At the same time we rack our left brain to analyse how many are still left on the tree unperturbed by the sad fate of their co-singer, still singing happily. How to greet somebody was never there in the agenda.

Things changed. New high school. English was going to be introduced to me for the first time. That anxiety itself kept me away from school for the first three days of the academic year. That resulted in me missing coaching on how to greet in an English way when English teacher entered the class. As the teacher entered, all my yet-to-become friends stood up and shouted something. I also stood up but obviously no words came out of my mouth, as I didn’t know. But I carefully listened to that roar and gathered something “Good af mik nu”. I was thrilled, I learnt something new. Came home and asked my parents “do you know how to greet English teacher when she enters the class? it is good af mik nu” ! They corrected me, “no it is good afternoon, you got it wrong”. I would be the last person to give up so easily even then. “That’s the way in your days, things have changed now” I had to reply. After a few days I knew my mistake and had learnt many more good words in English correctly. Even then, in several later occasions, whenever a topic arose about this English language and me, this good af mik nu episode had been narrated in full detail. The very reason why I still remember this clearly. Needless to say, I started to learn how to greet somebody formally in a hard way.

Shankar was my college mate. Shankar wanted to learn to speak Kannada language. He was from Bengal. He was so good in Bengali language that even his English sounded like Bengali. But due to some reason known to him only, he wanted to pick up some Kannada words. Or he must have heard that Kannada is easy to pick up, as all words in that language have to end with any one of the vowels, a to u. That much consistency is there. Even while adapting words from other languages, those words will be Kannadised like car becomes  caru, turning becomes turningu. That simple.

Shankar approached one of the Kannada speaking guys and enquired as how to greet somebody with a good morning. The friend taught him two words, no doubt both ended in a vowel as required. First one with an “a”and the second word with an “o”. ( I leave it to the wild imagination of those  who know Kannada to guess what those words were). But somehow Shankar had a doubt, he felt those words should not be pronounced by a sane person not in the morning, not even at any other time of the day. He wanted to test it out. He found his tutor friend in the Kannada gang ( these linguistic gangs do exist right?) early next morning. With a broad grin Shankar greeted the tutor with a-ending and o-ending words. What he was taught privately was used publicly on the tutor itself. He could see the embarrassment on the faces of all in the gang. He could make out how bad those words were. Also he managed to get to know the right word consisting of the right consonants and ofcourse the right vowel at the end. He also learnt it in a hard way!

So, learning to greet someone can be hard. One should know how much one can smile, how many times one can shake hands, holding hands at what optimum pressure, how much to bend down, how close to go while hugging, should or shouldn’t kiss on the cheek even if the other party is kissable and so on. While the hard part remains there, the good part is that greeting helps. You may be so happy on that day that you got a salary hike that too in double digits. And you will have all the reason to have a smile and greet your friend coming opposite to you. Your friend still worried about the mosquito bite he had on the previous day noon, still worried about the sleepless night because of the fever he had which didn’t subside till now. He may not smile as broadly as you did, but at least your warm greeting would make him forget for a moment about the highly probable Dengue Virus infection, and the possible trauma he has to go through  by continuously counting his blood platelets, if not counting days.

I just filed my income tax returns yesterday. And you know what, it’s pleasant surprise for me.  It is not only that I managed to file it successfully, there is more to it. I had paid more advance tax than required. So I am expecting a good amount as refund – free money !!! Do I need any other reason this morning to smile heartily and greet you all by saying “Good Morning”?