Death

I thought I will never write about death. Few weeks back when I heard Robin Williams died I had the urge to write something about death. I can’t forget Robin Williams. I had watched his movie “Mrs, Doubtfire” so many times when I was working at a customer location. Being away from family, home sick, to add to the misery the hostile environment at work site, only relief for me was watching this movie in late evenings. 

A few days back I heard about back to back deaths of two of my neighbours at home town. The very next day one of my aunts, who always used to receive us with her characteristic smile, passed away. I felt extremely sad. Though she had age related problems, I never knew she would die so suddenly due to acute renal failure. I decided I should write now.

I will try to make this “death” discussion as painless as possible.

I had thought about death once when I was a small boy. Not about my death, but my father’s. With the knowledge gained from obituary columns in newspapers, I had done some rough estimate to arrive at what age my dad would die and what would be my age at that time. Just to see whether how much I would have grown up and how much independent I would be by such time! My father had beaten all my “immature” calculations – he lived happily for many more years than I had envisaged in that odd thought.

Sometimes I get lucky. I get wishes from people that I will live for hundred years. They must have been talking about how shameful a person I am, elaborating all wrong things I have been doing in life. Then my sudden appearance from nowhere will prompt them to abruptly stop what they have been discussing. But they need to continue, right ? One of them will point to me and say “Hey, here he is. We have been talking about you only. Man, you will live for 100 years……..!”(only thing is that he just swallows the last word in that incomplete sentence – “shamelessly”!!).

Let me admit, as a school going kid, I used to like somebody’s death. Not serious enough to know what death means to that person and his family and friends. This is when government declared holiday for schools when some eminent personality passed away. I can understand postponement of entertainment activities or celebrations to give respect to the deceased. But, both parents and children anxiously look for declaration of holiday on TV channels in the evening and wait for the newspaper wala to make doubly sure that the declaration is very much there on front page of the newspaper.  Just for the kids to stay back home and have all the entertainment. Instead, conducting a condolence meeting in the schools and carrying on with normal academic activities would have been more desirable. 

One thing I like about death is that it is in the future and totally unpredictable. This thought makes me always hopeful and encourages me to focus on what I will do today, tomorrow and probably in many more years to come. And at last when it happens, there will not be a single soul who will talk bad about me. Even if there is one dirty one, I don’t have to hear him no!  So why should I worry at all? My current worry is - how not to make others think and talk badly about me when I am alive - which is very much in my hands.