Thursday, 4 September 2014

At times one can be negative !



Today the good news for me is that I found another topic to talk about. Bad news for you is that the topic is “negativity”!

Negative things affect us more than positive ones. I was too upset yesterday. I was mourning over the 6 rupees balance which I forgot to collect from the bus conductor which he normally writes on the back of the ticket for me to forget at the end the of the journey, which I promptly did!. Because of that I just could not sustain my little appreciation for the good efforts of the rather unusual careful driver in that state transport bus which made my journey tension free.

Studies have revealed that 2/3rd of English words describe negative aspects. That tells us the story. So if you find so many negative words in this blog post then don’t blame it on me, the culprit is the English language!

We tend to look for negative items in a newspaper. Those things attract us more. The other day I saw the headlines in the newspaper “7 tips to become happier in life”. Though I knew a couple of tips of my own, number seven was a tall order for me. As I was about to look at tip #3 to tip #7,   some other headline caught my attention.  It read “Wife brutally murders husband”, I had no hesitation to read that first, I just forgot all about the enhanced happiness and those tips for it. Not that my wife is that cruel, for that matter she cannot kill even a cockroach fully!! Though there was nothing beneficial for me to learn about that murder, my undivided attention went towards reading and absorbing that news, just because it was a negative one.

I read about a professor in Psychology who used to show his students a black dot, drawn sufficiently large on a piece of white paper, first day in his class. Then he would ask the students what they saw. All focus would be on that black dot, everybody trying to interpret in his/her own way. One may be thinking of amavasi day (new moon day) when all bad things could happen. A well-read person would be reminded of that “black spot” which would be handed over to the captain of a ship, a summon given as a warning for impending and disciplinary action. (Black Spot is a pure fiction created by R L Stevenson in his novel Treasure Island. How does it matter whether it is fiction or reality as far as negativity is concerned! ). Then the professor would say “Why are you people focussing too much on the black dot, there is enough white space below that where you can write a poem or draw picture, if you suddenly become artistic. Or you can even write a short love letter, if the mood becomes romantic! ).

One might take good care while arranging a function, say a wedding.  Excellent program management, planning to minute details so that the function goes on well and the invitees are well taken care of. Almost all who had gathered will be pouring congratulatory words on the host, for making the function a grand success. The host will feel extremely happy. Then this is enough to feel terribly bad for the host to hear from an odd old person like this “Why these people should invite so many people with no planning? to make me wait for the lunch behind somebody and witness him relishing his lunch”. That one statement can wipe out a major part of the good things the host had heard so far.

After talking negatively for this long time, is it not my duty to tell something positive about negativity? I can positively say negativity cannot be fully avoided. Then the option in front of us is to look at the positive effects of being negative. And at times it helps us to do a reality check and do course correction if required.

For instance this morning I set off with a positive frame of mind, for my morning walk. I was about to cross the road at KFC traffic junction. Less traffic, I was on the Zebra crossing for a change, the signal for pedestrian turned green.  I was all set to cross the road, I saw a mini-bus approaching the signal from the right. If I had continued to be a positive person, I would not have thought of anything bad, I would have attempted to cross the road. Instead, those ugly thoughts came to my mind. ”What if the driver ignores the stop signal? What if the bus does not have efficient braking mechanism” ? “How would I look like if the bus knocks me down?”. These negative thoughts made me stand-still and watch the mini-bus zooming past at very high speed, luckily without taking me along with it for some good distance - "live or dead"!.

So, one may be negative at times and it could be for an advantage, but never allow it to over-shadow the positivity.

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