Any ordinary person will look for a good company. Since defining goodness is tough let me reverse this statement ! Nobody likes to have a bad company of people. Criminals, thieves, murderers, alcoholics - the list of bad people can go on.
I suppose there is nothing wrong in me also wishing for a good company to do anything for that matter. Do I get that luxury always? I wish I had.
I had a friend Mohan, software engineer like me. "Shenoy, shall we go for a coffee, I am having a head ache" he approached me once. I had just completed unit testing of my program. And I was convinced fully that I would need to make at least 50 changes to the program to make it any where closer to meet the stated requirements. However, I decided to give a good company to my ailing friend. As we approached the coffee shop, Mohan was still talking all high funda stuff with lots of intellect but less of any practical feasibility. No wonder he got that head ache, any body would get if he or she thinks so much, so high ! I was perfectly fine with that part. But there was no inclination from his part to feel for his pocket and pay for the coffee. I had to pay.
Quite soon, another day Mohan got head ache again. This time I was struggling to understand the specs of another program and assess how many bugs that I could induce. Still I decided to go with him, after all it was a question of a severe head ache and I was ready to give him some relief. Same thing happened, only talking high level stuff and drinking strong coffee by Mohan, no way near reaching to his pocket to fetch any money. I had to pay again.
Third instance onwards I just rejected his coffee offer and concentrated more on my "buggy" work. Did I do the right thing? I am not sure. I might also get a head ache and I would need his company to have a coffee. The better option would have been explicitly ask him to pay every time, to send that message across to him. Probably he expects such demand from others each time !
One of the important tasks, like many others I do on a monthly basis is to go to super market to buy grocery. Accompanying my wife to accomplish that task is a bit challenging for me. Not that she would end up buying too many things, I am least bothered about that. We have the credit card no ? And more over it gives us 5% rebate flat on the purchases made. At least we would get a huge discount !
What I am paranoid of is her habit of spending too much time in deciding what to buy. We have been buying for a long time the "strong teeth" tooth paste and all I would do is pick one and move on. My wife would keep looking all the brands - red gel, blue gel, with salt, without salt - before picking up the usual "strong teeth" wala stuff ! As if we still need a bit more strength to our teeth !! I get so impatient with that, with no reason. Not that I have to accomplish lot more things outside by using that time saved there.
Even if I am not interested in knowing what else available in the market, still I can hold that "strong teeth" stuff in my hands and read every word printed on it ( to get more convinced that this fellow is going to really strengthen my teeth ) until my wife completes her research. Or who knows, one fine day I may get an urge for using a ginger-lemon flavoured, black coloured tooth paste. And I might waste hours together in going from shop to shop, rack to rack to check whether such a thing is available before surrendering to the fate of using the strong teeth one ! It might be worthwhile to get adjusted to the "bad" company of my wife in the super market and look around more for my own good !!
I like to go alone for my morning walk, to get some free time of my own and to watch more closely what is happening around me with no distraction. Last week, I got company of an excellent person, my good old friend Anoop during morning walk. Nice guy, our thoughts are similar, our opinions do not vary much on any subject. Our chemistry was so nice and I think we walked more than required with out our knowledge. But I knew he will not disturb me for ever. His wife, with whom he would have better chemistry - for that matter all other streams of science, would return soon to join him for the walk after her home town visit.
Yesterday, I was not that lucky though. As I just started walking, I found Raj, another "not-so-good" friend of mine coming opposite to me. I just increased my pace and tried my luck to just limit the conversation with a "hi" even though we were meeting after a long time. But Raj was in no mood to spare me. "I will also join you" with a glee he took a 360 degree turn. He kept on asking questions about me and my family as we covered a good 100 metres. He was expecting similar questions from me so that he could share some of his achievements in life. Instead I just started jogging, knowing well that Raj had just started the habit of morning walk recently and he would be in no mood to jog.
I was up for surprise. Raj also started jogging. It worked for me to some extend as he was grasping for breath and the rate at which he shot questions to me diminished drastically. I had many options. One, stop jogging and return home, which I didn't want to do. Two, continue at the same pace and bare the pain. Three, jog much faster which would invariably give me shin splints which I am prone to if I run a bit faster. I took a risk, went for option three, started running fast to counter the current pain on hand. It worked. Raj could not catch up with me. After 50 meters or so, he gave up, bid good bye to me and took a different direction !
I reflected on what I did once I reached home. Why did avoid Raj ? Such a nice person, all he wants is ask questions and some answers. What way is it going to affect me badly ? I had the choice of answering his questions with a word or two, which any way I am good at ! There could be a time when I can walk only slowly while many others would be jogging and I might be eagerly looking for a company. And the only choice in front of me at that time might be Raj - with many questions and many more answers !
Yes, I need to be more accommodating and tolerant to others when I am in their company for my own good. I hope others would be thinking of a similar attitude towards me for their own good !!
I suppose there is nothing wrong in me also wishing for a good company to do anything for that matter. Do I get that luxury always? I wish I had.
I had a friend Mohan, software engineer like me. "Shenoy, shall we go for a coffee, I am having a head ache" he approached me once. I had just completed unit testing of my program. And I was convinced fully that I would need to make at least 50 changes to the program to make it any where closer to meet the stated requirements. However, I decided to give a good company to my ailing friend. As we approached the coffee shop, Mohan was still talking all high funda stuff with lots of intellect but less of any practical feasibility. No wonder he got that head ache, any body would get if he or she thinks so much, so high ! I was perfectly fine with that part. But there was no inclination from his part to feel for his pocket and pay for the coffee. I had to pay.
Quite soon, another day Mohan got head ache again. This time I was struggling to understand the specs of another program and assess how many bugs that I could induce. Still I decided to go with him, after all it was a question of a severe head ache and I was ready to give him some relief. Same thing happened, only talking high level stuff and drinking strong coffee by Mohan, no way near reaching to his pocket to fetch any money. I had to pay again.
Third instance onwards I just rejected his coffee offer and concentrated more on my "buggy" work. Did I do the right thing? I am not sure. I might also get a head ache and I would need his company to have a coffee. The better option would have been explicitly ask him to pay every time, to send that message across to him. Probably he expects such demand from others each time !
One of the important tasks, like many others I do on a monthly basis is to go to super market to buy grocery. Accompanying my wife to accomplish that task is a bit challenging for me. Not that she would end up buying too many things, I am least bothered about that. We have the credit card no ? And more over it gives us 5% rebate flat on the purchases made. At least we would get a huge discount !
What I am paranoid of is her habit of spending too much time in deciding what to buy. We have been buying for a long time the "strong teeth" tooth paste and all I would do is pick one and move on. My wife would keep looking all the brands - red gel, blue gel, with salt, without salt - before picking up the usual "strong teeth" wala stuff ! As if we still need a bit more strength to our teeth !! I get so impatient with that, with no reason. Not that I have to accomplish lot more things outside by using that time saved there.
Even if I am not interested in knowing what else available in the market, still I can hold that "strong teeth" stuff in my hands and read every word printed on it ( to get more convinced that this fellow is going to really strengthen my teeth ) until my wife completes her research. Or who knows, one fine day I may get an urge for using a ginger-lemon flavoured, black coloured tooth paste. And I might waste hours together in going from shop to shop, rack to rack to check whether such a thing is available before surrendering to the fate of using the strong teeth one ! It might be worthwhile to get adjusted to the "bad" company of my wife in the super market and look around more for my own good !!
I like to go alone for my morning walk, to get some free time of my own and to watch more closely what is happening around me with no distraction. Last week, I got company of an excellent person, my good old friend Anoop during morning walk. Nice guy, our thoughts are similar, our opinions do not vary much on any subject. Our chemistry was so nice and I think we walked more than required with out our knowledge. But I knew he will not disturb me for ever. His wife, with whom he would have better chemistry - for that matter all other streams of science, would return soon to join him for the walk after her home town visit.
Yesterday, I was not that lucky though. As I just started walking, I found Raj, another "not-so-good" friend of mine coming opposite to me. I just increased my pace and tried my luck to just limit the conversation with a "hi" even though we were meeting after a long time. But Raj was in no mood to spare me. "I will also join you" with a glee he took a 360 degree turn. He kept on asking questions about me and my family as we covered a good 100 metres. He was expecting similar questions from me so that he could share some of his achievements in life. Instead I just started jogging, knowing well that Raj had just started the habit of morning walk recently and he would be in no mood to jog.
I was up for surprise. Raj also started jogging. It worked for me to some extend as he was grasping for breath and the rate at which he shot questions to me diminished drastically. I had many options. One, stop jogging and return home, which I didn't want to do. Two, continue at the same pace and bare the pain. Three, jog much faster which would invariably give me shin splints which I am prone to if I run a bit faster. I took a risk, went for option three, started running fast to counter the current pain on hand. It worked. Raj could not catch up with me. After 50 meters or so, he gave up, bid good bye to me and took a different direction !
I reflected on what I did once I reached home. Why did avoid Raj ? Such a nice person, all he wants is ask questions and some answers. What way is it going to affect me badly ? I had the choice of answering his questions with a word or two, which any way I am good at ! There could be a time when I can walk only slowly while many others would be jogging and I might be eagerly looking for a company. And the only choice in front of me at that time might be Raj - with many questions and many more answers !
Yes, I need to be more accommodating and tolerant to others when I am in their company for my own good. I hope others would be thinking of a similar attitude towards me for their own good !!
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